500 MILES - BERN’S STORY
Greetings folks! My name is Bern Corri, and I like to do things a bit differently... 6 years ago, having just had my left eye removed due to sinus cancer, and despite having received over 30 sessions of radiotherapy, my consultant informed me that I had between 6 and 9 months left before I would no longer be here.
I am being treated for a very rare form of facial cancer which affects the ethmoid bone and sinus on the left hand side of my face. The diagnosis and treatment of my condition was delayed for a year as my local G.P.`s considered the symptoms I was experiencing were caused by other factors (blocked sinus, pollips, blocked tear duct, general infection etc.) and treated me accordingly with antibiotics, steroid sprays etc.
It was only after suspecting that polyps were causing my watery eye and, by now, double vision, that a scan and biopsy was done, and my cancerous condition confirmed in January 2015.
In March the same year, they removed my left eye and top pallette at M.R.I. in an 18 hour op, where a piece of my hip bone was used to support the facial and mouth tissue that had been removed during surgery. Two weeks in I.C.U followed along with days spent on the general ward.
The initial op had also involved a skin graft to cover the left orbit, but this failed to take, as did two subsequent grafts to cover the `void` left.
These later skin grafts are thought to have failed as a result of radiation damage surrounding the affected tissues following a 30 day course of treatment at The Christie.
Following my initial 18 hour operation to remove my left eye, along with any surrounding bone and tissue that may have become infected by the cancer and replace them with bone from my hip and muscle from my stomach, it was decided that the best way to ensure that they had got every possible fragment of cancer would be to submit my head to 30 sessions of radiotherapy. This `scorched earth` policy, although ultimately very effective at disposing of the last dregs of my cancer, was to have a profound effect on the rest of my head too.
With the remaining tissue that made up my cheek, nose and mouth having been subjected to such intense radiotherapy, it was hardly surprising to discover that the initial skin graft, taken from my thigh to fill my now empty eye socket, now failed to fuse to the surrounding tissue that remained. Next, they tried giving me a facelift, by pulling what remained of my left cheek over the open socket. It was like trying to glue two pieces of wet paper together, as my facial reconstruction consultant put it, though and simply did not work.
Bern before illness struck with his two beloved boys.
Bern following major surgery
With his fellow Maggie’s models in 2016
It was decided that the only way to now cover the eye socket would be for me to `grow` my very own flap of skin in order to then graft it over the hole that remained on the left side of my face. This involved another operation in which a plastic bag was slid under my scalp. Over about 5 months, this bag was gradualy pumped up with silicon to allow the skin that surrounded it to expand. By the time it came to graft the skin over the socket, I looked as if I had the worlds largest ever boil forming on my forehead. Eventualy I had the op to remove the expanded skin from my head, turn it around, still connected to its own blood supply, and then stitched into place over the empty socket. My `false boob`, as I liked to call it had now become my `sausage` and stretched from my forehead right down over the left socket. Meanwhile though, the impact of all that radiotherapy was begining to take effect.
The roof of my mouth was slowly disintegrating and a small hole was developing under the flap they had just fitted. It came as no suprise to watch the flap fail to work, eventually turning black and then dieing itself. Since then, that small hole in my cheek has itself expanded to the point that I now need to keep everything covered by a large plaster instead of a simple eye patch like in the early days, and I am far from done with the other consequences of all that facial surgery and radiotherapy.
Two years ago, I experienced what I can only describe as a blinding white flash in my remaining right eye. This was caused by a tissue blockage in the artery feeding my retina caused by, you guessed it, radiotherapy. The result was that I was left with just 5 percent vision. After one year, that 5 percent also went awol leaving me now totally blind. Inside my mouth I now have no upper pallet and there is nothing remaining but my tongue and the bones of my skull. This, alongside that hole now in my left cheek, make my speech almost incomprehensible I am afraid, and I am severely restricted with what I can eat and drink. The scars of battle are clearly visible on me and the skin on my head feels like it could burst open at any second soon, having been cut and stretched so much. For the past 3 years I have been receiving both chemotherapy, for 12 months, followed by 2 years of immunotherapy. This was ordered in order to prevent a few tiny clusters of cancer that showed up in some scans from ever growing in my chest and neck. We believe these `spots` of cancer will now be of no big threat to my well being and my treatment for them will end this month. I will of course continue to have regular scans in order to monitor any changes.
Bern at the Christie
Bern’s portrait was painted by artist Lucy Burscough for the Facing Out collection at he Whitworth gallery, Manchester.
Bern at his beloved Maggie’s with Margo Cornish. Talented Bern is part of the creative team behind the bi-annual fashion show.
Now then, all this treatment, cancer, going blind, becoming unintelligible when I try to talk to anyone or to any tech equipment, all these 126 hospital appointments. Who or what do I blame for what has happened to me? In a word, absolutely no one and nothing. You could blame all that radiotherapy for a lot of my woes I guess, but then, I know of two people myself who have been through exactly the same mill that I entered, both of whom are half my age, and who never went blind or who had any of the side effects of radiotherapy that I have endured. No problems speaking or eating, no holes in their faces or roof collapses in their mouths. The only difference between myself and them is that I had over 30 blasts of radiotherapy, whereas they only had 16 between them both. There is in fact just one more difference between me and them though. I am still alive of course. Sadly, the cancer in my two young friends managed to escape the battlefield in their sinuses and, unhindered by any `scorched earth` policy regarding their radiotherapy, happily spread itself to other parts of their hosts. The consequences of RT may indeed be shocking and life changing as we have witnessed here, but Hey!, at least I still have a life to change. And boy has my life changed over the past 6 years since first being diagnosed with the `Big C`.
All through this my family and friends have been there at every turn, good or bad, and I would be at a loss without their support.
If nothing else, this task I am embarking on is my reply to that consultants somewhat negative assessment of my prospects. In the intervening years, OK, so I may have lost all my sight completely, not to mention my ability to speak properly or to taste and smell things anymore, but Hey Ho folks, I am still very much still here among you all, despite those dour predictions. I may live my life in darkness these days, but believe me, the amount of light within that darkness has grown to truly blinding proportions. So much so in fact that I now feel it is my duty to help ensure that the main source of my inspiration can continue to offer its services to the rest of you all out there dealing with cancer and everything that it brings with it.
Throughout my treatment Maggie’s has been there for me, offering me a The main source of funding for Maggies Manchester was their bi-annual charity fashion catwalk and Gala Ball, which I have the honour to be heavily involved with. Sadly, as we all know, Covid19 came along last year and put a total end to such gatherings, thus cutting off Maggies main source of funding. Oh dear - what are we gonna do about that...? Well, I for one am not going to just sit here and let some tiny little varmint of a virus stop me doing what I want to help my fellow man, especially after all the help that I have already recieved in return..! Begining on February 19th, just one week after my final round of immunotherapy treatment, this 61 year old fool here is setting off on a 500 mile walk in order to raise funds for Maggie’s Manchester. This 1million step march should take me an estimated 40 days and nights, eventually crossing the finishing line on March 31st. Have I ever done such a thing before? Never. Do I think I will make it? Too right I will. And I will do the whole walk without even leaving my own front room too. In order to even take the first of the 1million steps it needs to complete my challenge, I will be using a treadmill that I have christened Millie. Now the thing about Millie is that she likes to do the karaoke thing ya see, so in order to keep her happy over the time I will be walking, I am going to need not just your kind donations toward Maggie’s, but also your ideas for our karaoke showpiece videos. Millie and I just love to put our very own spin onto your tuneful suggestions, and will even be putting out as many videos of our interpretations as possible for your viewing pleasure. By the way, one good thing about having lost my sight now completely to cancer is that I will never have to look at what we can come up with. And it does tend to liberate me too in a kind of way I must admit. I certainly hope that you will all appreciate all the work that my video team have put into helping me on this endeavour, and mainly that you, like us all crack a smile along the way while supporting Maggie’s in all they do for cancer patients and their families in our region.
This is our journey folks, all of us. This is our city and this is our Maggie’s centre you will be helping with your donations. Let’s do this one together. Please don’t hesitate to send in both your donations together with your song suggestions, and hey!
let’s all hope that consultant who told me that I only had 6 to 9 months left all those years ago is there when we reach the finish line eh!!? NEVER let anyone tell you that anything is impossible my friend……..even blind typing!
Much Love Bern.